My Light in Darkness
by koronda daruma
Summary: Everyone has a different light and everyone has a different darkness. How do these two get through it all? Will they rely on each other? I don't own Mai-HiME.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Well I'm back again… Yay?

* * *

_Three years. It's been three years and there is definitely something wrong. There is definitely something that is different about those red, hypnotizing eyes of hers. What are they looking at? Definitely not me._

Natsuki hasn't seen or heard from Shizuru since she graduated. She once heard that she withdrew from Fuuka Academy and almost couldn't believe it. Without a word, she vanished from her life. Was it fate that brought them together on this day?

* * *

After graduation, both Natsuki and Mai decided to take a year off from school to take a break, catch their breath, just to relax a bit. After working for the entire year straight, they planned to spend the next couple of months (and most of their savings) traveling around Japan. Starting at the top, they stayed in Hokkaido to see the snow festival and were now making their way down Honshu.

The two tried to catch as many events as possible while on this journey; going to various festivals, seeing as many temples and castles as they could, eating all different kinds of food. By the time they hit Kyoto, the two were pretty exhausted.

"There is no way I can go to another temple." Natsuki grumbled. "They are all the same. I mean, yeah, sure, the first like, ten were pretty cool, but after seeing another 20 or so, they get pretty boring… I mean, Mai," She turns to the red head, whispering as if it were a secret, "we're not even religious."

Mai listened to her friend's complaints. She had to admit, she was getting pretty sick of them too, but when you go somewhere new, you have to go to all the famous sites. "Natsuki, do you know where we are?" She raises her hands, signaling at the area around them, "I mean, there are a dozen or so famous temples in walking distance from our hotel!"

"Well… Yeah, I guess. If that's what you want to do, I don't really care. It's just getting pretty repetitive if you ask me." Natsuki added.

"Well, thanks for the consideration. But, I wasn't asking" Mai scoffed to the side, "Well, actually… I was thinking about going to a concert tomorrow. Apparently a new, pretty famous koto player will be performing."

"Absolutely not." Her blunt reply came quickly, "Now _that_ I _have_ to refuse." Natsuki exclaimed. There was no way she was going to go. That was more boring than going to a freaking temple! She had to sit and listen to something that she had no appreciation for and if she had to sit in _seiza_ for the whole time, man, her legs would just _murder_ her.

"Natsuki, you know that this opportunity won't come up often."  
"Mai, you know that I don't care." Natsuki argued back. "And, since when did you even care for the koto anyways?"

"Natsuki, we're in Kyoto for god's sake. This is the root of Japan. This is our history!" Mai exclaimed, raising her hands above her head trying to make a big deal. "Don't you want to get in touch with your inner Japanese?"  
"No."

"Well, too bad, I heard that admission would be limited, so I bought the tickets already." Mai waved the tickets in front of her face. "Come on, I mean, the whole performance will be an hour, tops."

"Well, then why did you ask me? It doesn't seem like I have a choice in the matter."  
"You're right, you don't." Mai said, sticking her tongue out at the defeated Natsuki. "Tomorrow afternoon at 2. Don't forget to dress nicely." Mai added, leaving Natsuki dumbstruck.

* * *

And that's how Natsuki found herself here, feeling like an idiot, in front of Shizuru who is pretending that she doesn't even see her.

When the ceremony started, Shizuru was already sitting in the front of the room in position with her koto in front of her, waiting to begin. She wore her hair up and adorned a white kimono that had a gradual fade into purple at the bottom. A MC came out and introduced himself as Shinichi, then introduced Shizuru and the songs that she would be playing one by one. Shizuru played her music quietly and gracefully throughout the whole performance. She moved like she knew the instrument down do the tiniest detail, delicately plucking each string with ease and confidence. Natsuki had a new appreciation for music. No, not for music. For Shizuru. Such strong emotion was conveyed through the songs. She almost felt like her heart was aching while she listened to the painfully sorrowful songs. She has never seen anything so passionate before. Natsuki didn't even notice when Shizuru had finished. She was absorbed into the music, listening intently. Shizuru slowly turned to face the crowd and took a small, humble bow. It was in that moment when Natsuki saw it. She saw those, somewhat… familiar eyes, but yet something was definitely different. Shizuru did not give her a second glace, not even when she was dressed up so nicely in her blue kimono next to a slacked-jaw Mai. Shinichi took a small bow as well and exited to the side with Shizuru on his arm.

Mai was right; the performance _was_ over before she knew it. She could only wish that it were longer. Neither Mai nor Natsuki could fathom what had just happened. A small crowd gathered outside of the room that they had just exited from, Shizuru and Shinichi were in the middle of this crowd answering questions and handing out smiles to everyone. They were changed out of their formal clothes into something more comfortable. Question after question was being asked as Shizuru politely answered each every one of them. Natsuki could have sworn that Shizuru had looked directly at her and yet, said nothing.

Slowly the crowd started to thin out. A breeze picked up the warm air and Shizuru excused herself politely from the remaining fans and removed a pair of sunglasses from her purse and put them on. She slowly walked away with her arm linked with Shinichi's and they got into a near by taxi.

Before Mai knew it, she was shoved into another taxi by Natsuki following the two.

"Did you see that guy?" Natsuki asked, baffled. "He was totally all over her! Who does he think he is?"  
"Well… Maybe he's her boyfriend?" Mai responded.

Natsuki was shocked at this. She had never thought of that one, and, for a good reason. "Seriously? Shizuru?" Shizuru with a guy?

Natsuki, not being one to actually talk about anything that pertains to her life, never told Mai about her… relationship... with Shizuru. She was hoping it was kind of obvious what was going on, and that Mai just knew and chose not to ask questions about it.

Trying to change her train of thought, Natsuki spoke up. "Well anyways, what is she even doing here? Did you know that she was going to be here today?" The frustration was more than evident in her voice.

A chuckle came from the red head.

"You know I wouldn't want to see her! Why did you make me go?!" Natsuki shouted, scaring the taxi driver to slam on his brakes.

"Natsuki," Mai started calmly, "where are we right now? Why are we _stalking_ Shizuru if you don't want to see her?"

Inside of the car turned to silence. The driver cleared his throat and decided to continue down the road where he saw the car last head down.

Within a few minutes, the car in front came to a stop and let out the two passengers while the engine kept running. The two walked arm in arm again to the door.

"Keh, look at them… Never without bodily contact. Too much PDA if you ask me…"

Shinichi returned the cab by himself and it drove off again. Natsuki and Mai's taxi started following again.

"Wait, no. We're getting out here." Natsuki stopped the driver and paid him the fare.

The two walked quietly to the front door. They stood there, no one moving.

"Uh… do you want me to wait by the street?" Mai asked, assuming that she wanted to speak to Shizuru alone.

"No," Natsuki said after a small pause, "let's just go. This was a bad idea."

Before Natsuki could take a single step away from the door, she heard the doorbell ring. Mai had pushed it, sick of Natsuki's childish, almost pathetic, behavior. Natsuki froze in her spot. Just as she was going to open her mouth to ask Mai what in the world she was thinking, Mai rang the doorbell again.

"Just a moment," a gentle voice called from the other side of the door. Within seconds, the door pealed open revealing the smiling brunette, still in her same clothes and still even holding her purse and wearing her sunglasses. She hadn't the time to do anything yet.

"Hi… Kaichou-san… I… was just in the neighborhood…" Mai started off slowly, dragging all of her words out, "and… I…"

"Tokiha-san? I did not expect you to be here…" Shizuru's smile still on place, but the two could see her eyebrows scrunching up behind her sunglasses. "What brings you here?"

"I… just… thought…" Mai continued, at a loss for words, "that… I… should…"

This was awkward. The conversation, the lack of conversation, the situation, everything was plain awkward. It was building on Natsuki's nerves. How could Shizuru not even acknowledge her?

"Uh… Nevermind. Bye." Mai said while running off down the street, leaving the two remaining girls standing there in the silence. Natsuki studied Shizuru carefully. There was something that she just couldn't quite place, but before she could come to a conclusion, the door was being slowly closed in her face.

On instinct, Natsuki grabbed it before it could be closed all the way, causing Shizuru to double back. The look of surprise was quickly wiped off of her face as she spoke. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."

Shizuru didn't see her? Who was she trying to kid? "It's been a while…" was the only thing that could come out of Natsuki's mouth.

"Natsuki?" Shizuru asked, not able to, no matter how hard she tried to, hide the look of surprise. In that instant Natsuki knew what was different.

"Oh my god Shizuru… You're… blind…"

* * *

**A/N:** Uhh… thoughts? Continue or not? Entirely up to you guys.

Uhh… But I do have to give credit where credit is due. I got this idea from a different fanfic written for Final Fantasy VIII by Ashbear called "Castles in the Sky." One of the first fanfics I've ever read about four or five years ago… The basic idea is from that story, Shizuru being blind and I couldn't help but feel guilty about taking that idea. It's been years since I read it, so there shouldn't be too many similarities. I don't plan on rereading it to get ideas for this fic, and I don't really remember how it went, but if you guys think that I shouldn't write this, I'll stop. I have to admit that this chapter I think is actually kind of similar because this image was burned into my imagination and I couldn't think of anything other way to introduce this situation but it should be different after this.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Ok, wow. I was not expecting to have that much support. I was blown away by how many people wanted me to continue this, so continue this I shall.

* * *

Natsuki could not remember the last time that she saw Shizuru, but Shizuru could remember the last time she saw Natsuki. Shizuru remembered it clearly. It was the last time she saw anybody.

After graduation, Shizuru could hardly say that she was happy with her life. She was grateful to say the least, I mean, she was ever so thankful that she was still permitted to see her Natsuki after what had gone on during the Carnival. After what she had done, she wouldn't have been surprised if no one forgave her, although, she would rather have stayed dead than live being hated by Natsuki. Not to sound morbid, but things would have ended perfectly if they ended right there without being reborn.

It was hard for her. To be so close, but kept at such a distance. She knew that it would hurt a great deal less if she just didn't have to face Natsuki at all, so, she slowly started phasing her way out of the other girl's life as summer started. Natsuki never really took much initiative to hang out in the first place, so Shizuru would just have to stop trying to pry her way into her life, into her heart. It's hard to hate somebody you love, when the person you love doesn't hate you. It leaves you emotionally tired and stressed. Shizuru never felt so lonely in her life. Shizuru was wrong however. She never knew how lonely a person could be until the accident.

By the time that Shizuru had almost completely fazed herself out of Natsuki's life, Natsuki had called her. Shizuru could not bring herself to refuse an opportunity to hang out with her if that is what she wished and decided to meet up. However, that day did not go according to plan.

Shizuru was running late and was rushing to make it to the meeting place on time. They were meeting at a small coffee shop that the two often went to for tea. Shizuru cut a few corners and walked quickly down the streets. She was closing in to the small shop where she saw Natsuki waiting through the window when she started crossing the street. Running across with a one tracked mind, she noticed only too late that there was a car coming from behind. The driver was able to slow down a little, but not enough, knocking Shizuru out and into the hospital for a week.

Despite what Shizuru thought, Natsuki wasn't being fooled. She had indeed noticed that they saw less and less of each other so that's when she felt that she needed to take the initiative to give her a call in attempts to save their relationship. Natsuki noticed a commotion outside due to an accident, but could not be bothered to leave her spot. She sat there waiting while fifteen minutes passed into an hour, then hour passed into three. Several days and dozens of unanswered phone calls, Natsuki took Shizuru's complete absence as a final sign of rejection.

While in the hospital, Shizuru's parents decided to move her back to Kyoto. Shizuru woke up several days later in a huge surprise. Not only did she wake up to her mother's voice, the sharp smell of rubbing alcohol, and complete darkness, but it wasn't until she was discharged that she found out she was back in her hometown. A few days after settling back into her old childhood home, her parents decided to throw her a 'Welcome Home, We're Sorry You're Blind' party. Family whom she's never met, people she hasn't seen, friends she lost touch with, all showed up. It was an awkward moment because no one knew what to say to her. They all kept their distance except one. Shinichi. Shinichi was her best friend in elementary school. He talked to her like he didn't even know she was blind or the fact that they haven't seen each other in nearly ten years.

After the party, Shinichi was the only one that kept in touch with her. Everyone else had just shown up to show face and pay respects. It was at that point she felt that she was at her lowest, where she's never felt more alone. Thoughts would often drift back to Natsuki, replaying memories like an old cinema. Some were comedies, some were tragic romances, and some were even horror. She thought many times over about giving the other girl a call, but couldn't bring herself to do so. She didn't want to worry or trouble the girl with her handicap, and their relationship now was probably what Natsuki wanted. Natsuki was finally free of her.

Loneliness ate at Shizuru every waking moment, but thankfully, Shinichi stopped by the Fujino house at least every other day, to say hi and have tea with her. Being with him made Shizuru feel so young and happy again. She didn't feel so alone anymore. Not that she was ever _physically_ alone anymore. Her mother ordered a maid to be with Shizuru at all times of the day to make sure that if she needed anything, there was always someone to help her. The constant company drove her insane. Even though she couldn't see her or hear her, she always felt the maid's presence.

It wasn't long before Shizuru couldn't handle it anymore. She asked her mother to have her left alone, but she wouldn't listen. The only time there wasn't a maid around was when she was with Shinichi. She felt that this time was the only time that she could actually relax, to be herself. They often talked about small things and she told him about the frustrations of living under constant surveillance. Before even a year had passed, she was sick of always being waited on and cared for so she moved out. Of course her parents weren't very fond of this idea, but they were also forbidden to see her. Shizuru promised to come by the house at least once a month if they promised to leave her alone.

Of course Shinichi was allowed to see her. He stopped by daily because it was on the way from school. Sometimes he would stop by in the morning just to have a cup of tea or listen to the morning news with her, and then on the way home, he'd just say hi or take a short nap there before heading home. Since they spent so much time together and never fought, Shinichi finally took the plunge and asked Shizuru out.

This was definitely the turning point in their relationship, not necessarily for the worst though. After Shizuru could really see that Shinichi genuinely cared about her, she decided to lay herself completely bare before him. She decided to tell him about the Carnival. She told him about all the innocent people she had hurt and Natsuki and even how she even betrayed her trust. She was scared to open herself so completely, but Shinichi sat there and listened patiently. At first at mention of summoning monsters, he thought it was just a crazed story about getting out of going out with him, but the sincerity in her words and the sense of fear in her emotions, he believed full-heartedly, without a doubt. If Shizuru said so, it had happened.

After that point, it was mutually understood that they couldn't work out together, but that didn't hurt their friendship. He was there for her and continued to love her, even if she wouldn't feel the same. It was around this time that Shinichi remembered that Shizuru used to play the koto when they were younger and decided to buy one for her as a house-warming present. Shizuru herself had forgotten and completely forgotten how to play. She re-taught herself slowly, taking her time.

Shizuru's parents still supported her both morally and financially, but Shizuru didn't know what to do with her time. She decided that she had to re-learn how to live life from the beginning. She had to learn how to read Braille, how to walk, and even how to talk to a person without staring. It was hard to tell yourself to remember to blink. Everything was hard and frustrating, but Shinichi was there every step of the way. He was her support and she wouldn't know what she would do if he wasn't there for her.

After a year, Shizuru had it down perfectly. If you saw her in her house, you wouldn't even think she was blind to begin with, although, going out was kind of tough. She rarely went out on her own, but would do so occasionally if only to get fresh air. Now that she had more free time, she practiced the koto religiously. Shinichi noticed that she was getting really good and decided to have her play for a small group at his school. The one of the school's music instructors showed up to her little performance and insisted that she take lessons.

Taking lessons helped out her posture and the sound, which only enhanced her beautiful playing. With the help of her teacher, she began to play professionally. It was kind of embarrassing for her at first. She plays so passionately, she felt so exposed and that people would judge her. She hated to be judged, and definitely didn't want people to feel sorry for her because she was blind, so she decided that they should keep that bit a secret. She practiced acting like she wasn't blind and it wasn't that hard when she had Shinichi's help. She took his small cues to face a certain direction or walk to a certain spot. Because of their closeness, many assumed that they were a couple and the two didn't deny it if it meant that it kept their secret.

Shizuru held several performances, all running smoothly when the instructor advised her to perform for a larger crowd. Shizuru accepted hesitantly after consulting with Shinichi, convinced everything would run just as smoothly. And everything did. That is, until she got home.

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, that was kind of boring. I'm sorry. I just wanted to explain the situation and say why she was blind and the whole relationship with Shinichi. I was going to have the ShizNat meeting in this chapter but then it'd be too long (for my writing standards ^^;) so that'll be next chapter. I want to say thank you again for all the support and I think the next chapter should be out in not too long. I hope you sort of enjoyed this chapter and will continue reading from now on! Reviews are always loved!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm glad that you guys were ok with the explanation chapter.

* * *

Shizuru had just gotten home when she heard the doorbell ring. She was in a good mood for the concert had gone well and she was able to successfully hide her disability from her fans once again. She was getting ready to take the rest of the day and just lounge about in her house until she heard her doorbell ring as she was taking off her shoes.

It wasn't often that she got visitors; it was in fact close to never. She just assumed that if someone was at her door that it was Shinichi and he had forgotten something. It must've been important because he rang the doorbell twice, seeming impatient. Maybe he had to use the bathroom.

Boy was Shizuru in for a surprise when she opened the door and was faced by a stuttering girl. It was even more surprising when she found out that she knew this girl. Being addressed as '_kaichou_,' how that brought back memories. She didn't really question why this Fuuka girl was even in the area, but the true shock came after.

Shizuru should've guessed that the big busted girl wouldn't travel almost across the country by herself, or even that she would even bother paying her a visit if it weren't for something else. With Mai being at her doorstep, she should've known, even without being able to see, that Natsuki was standing there.

"Oh my god Shizuru… You're… blind…" Those words hit her hard and fast. She felt so exposed and didn't know what to do. Instinctively, she just slammed the door shut.

Shizuru didn't move from her spot, facing the closed door. She needed to take time to process all the information. She didn't have very long for the door swung open again, bashing her right on the head. Natsuki hadn't realized that Shizuru was still standing there and took a step forward, refusing to let her go. She swung the door open at full speed, hitting the unsuspecting blind girl in the face.

Shizuru tried to stand back up, but failed to do so gracefully. She toppled down a little before getting caught by the arms that she hadn't felt in a long time. She was wavering back and forth of consciousness before finally knocking out. Natsuki quickly took Shizuru to the nearest couch and put her down gently and she removed her now, thanks to her, broken sunglasses. She was panicking, not knowing what to do. By the time that she decided to get ice, she heard the moan of an awakening Shizuru.

While trying to sit up, Shizuru grabbed her forehead trying to stop the pounding headache. She noticed that her sunglasses were off and instantly shut her eyes, but not before Natsuki got one more look at those now hollow eyes. "Shizuru… I'm s-"

"It's fine." Shizuru cut her off, standing up. "Do you know where my glasses are?"

"On the table over there," Natsuki pointed, not remember that she couldn't see where she was pointing. Thankfully, Shizuru had a hunch of where she was pointing and attempted to pick them up. She put them on only to find out they were broken. She took them off again and started walking to the other room.

"Please, wait over here." Shizuru said before entering another room.

Natsuki was still standing in the exact same spot when Shizuru returned less than three minutes after leaving, wearing a new pair of sunglasses.

"Now, was there something you'd wish to talk about?" Shizuru said cold and business-like.

Natsuki was pretty shocked that Shizuru had just like a million sunglasses lying around her house. She took a step forward, "I-"

"Please, remove your shoes," Shizuru cut her off again.

"Oh yeah, sorry, in the panic I forgot to take them off." Natsuki explained while walking back to the entrance of the house.

"What are you wearing?" Shizuru asked, confused.

Not as confused as Natsuki though, "How do you know what I'm wearing? How'd you know that I was still wearing my shoes? You are… aren't you?"  
"Blind?" Shizuru said bluntly, not avoiding it at all. "Yes, but I could hear you shoes hitting the ground and I tell that your movement in restricted. I'd never expect you to be in a…. kimono is it?"

Natsuki accepted this reasoning and took off her shoes and walked back to the girl. "Yeah, you see I was invited to this concert and I was forced to follow dress code. Do you like it?"

"Now, I wouldn't know, would I?" Shizuru said with a smile on her face.

Natsuki opened her mouth and closed it. She mentally slapped her hand on her forehead for that one. 'Way to be sensitive, jerk.' She thought to herself. "Shizuru…" Natsuki started with a sympathetic voice. "What happened?"

Shizuru's smile dropped. She easily avoided the question by changing the subject, "Would you like to see the rest of the house?"

Natsuki could feel that this was a touchy subject, and followed Shizuru in her tour. Not much was said while Shizuru expertly maneuvered around the house. At the end of the tour, they ended up in the kitchen where Shizuru started making the tea. Natsuki stared in awe at the girl who knew where everything was exactly. There were a surprising lot of photographs in this house, and with the way Shizuru moved around her house, you could not be able to tell that she was blind. Natsuki took a seat and picked up the picture frame closest to her and looked at it.

A sense of nostalgia rushed through Natsuki seeing her with Shizuru at their old school. They were both sitting there quietly next to each other on a picnic blanket in the flower garden. They weren't even facing each other, but look of contentment was on both of their faces. The wind blew their hair slightly as flower pedals danced around them. Shizuru's face was partly covered by her bangs and held a cup of tea with a small smile while Natsuki was sitting with her back slightly towards the other girl looking out to the side facing the wind so it would blow her hair away from her face. Natsuki had no idea when or where this photo was taken and by the look of Shizuru in the picture, neither did she. Judging by the slightly stiff appearance of the atmosphere, it must have been during the Carnival, but not before everything was revealed.

Shizuru joined Natsuki at the table and gave Natsuki her cup. Natsuki put the frame down and reached for her cup. When the frame touched the table, Shizuru realized what she was holding. "Nice, isn't it? It's my favorite"

"Where'd you get it? I mean, who took it?" Natsuki asked.  
"I'm not sure, it was in my locker the day of my graduation."

"You have a lot of pictures out." Natsuki said, not so subtly hinting at Shizuru to tell her why.

"I might not be see them, but I can tell which picture it is by its frame."

Silence took over the two again. Natsuki felt so awkward not knowing what to say and Shizuru could tell. She held a small smile on her face; it was quite humorous how people feel so uncomfortable around her.

Shizuru broke the silence, "So what exactly brings you here?"  
"Well, Mai and I aren't in school right now. We decided to take a year off to relax. We worked for a while, but we decided that traveling would be fun so we ended up here."

"Ara, it seems that you and Tokiha-san have gotten quite close I see."

"No! It's not like that. It's just that it seems like we're all each other has left…" Natsuki said, wanting to add 'after you left me…'

Shizuru laughed about how Natsuki got so defensive over nothing. Natsuki was not hers to claim, no matter how badly she wanted to, and she understands that now. "On the other hand," Shizuru added, "how'd you know I'd be here?"

"Well, we saw you at the performance and I couldn't believe that I finally got to see you again… I'd never have expected this though…" Natsuki looked up to see Shizuru with a slight blush on her face, not understanding what could be so embarrassing.

"You… heard me playing?"

"Yeah, it was great, I didn't know you could play the koto." Natsuki complimented. 'Yet I bet there are millions of things I don't know about you.'  
Shizuru's blush deepened more. Shizuru felt so exposed and didn't know what to say.

Taking a chance, Natsuki spoke up. "Uh, Shizuru, would you… like to go out to dinner tonight? If you're not busy, I mean…"

"I can't… I'm sorry Natsuki." Shizuru was slightly taken aback by her question, but still had to refuse. After a small pause, she added, "It's hard for me to go out as you might imagine." Shizuru wanted to make it clear that there was a reason.

"Well, we can eat here," Natsuki tried.

"Ara, is Natsuki going to cook for me?" Shizuru asked. She knew from past experiences and multiple failed cooking lessons that Natsuki should _not_ be trusted in a kitchen.

"Well, we can eat here after I go pick up food for us," Natsuki cleared it up.

"That sounds… like a good idea. Let's do that."

* * *

**A/N:** I don't know what going on… LOL. I keep getting lost in my own writing so I hope its ok for you guys. Here was the little Natsuki Shizuru reunion. Nothing much happened and it seems kind of short, but I always stop around the 1,000+ mark so idk whats going on… I'd write more but I'm too lazy right now. Until next time! Byebye~

Ps. Please review :3


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Uh… Yeah… Sorry for the extremely long wait… lol. I totally forgot about this story and I just don't like it that much… I totally don't remember where this story was going, so I'm going to wing it! LOL I hope some of you guys that were reading this are still out there! :D

* * *

Natsuki's visit was strange. There was a high tension between the two, but it didn't seem like that much as passed between them. They sat at the table in the kitchen while they waited for the water to boil for the tea. Natsuki watched Shizuru's every move, still graceful and elegant. Once in a while, she would see small things that did in fact prove that Shizuru was blind. Shizuru had to feel around for the sink faucet and the cabinet handles, and her motions were a little slower, just to make sure nothing would go wrong.

"Ara, Natsuki, it's not polite to stare." Shizuru broke the silence.

Natsuki was shocked at the words. She blushed at the fact that she'd been caught staring. What was making her stare at her? Was she curious about her blindness, or entranced by her beauty again. Natsuki cleared her throat, ignoring the comment.

"Shizuru, why'd you leave?" she said in a quiet voice. She didn't mean to sound so soft-spoken, but it just came out that way.

Shizuru stopped all movement, and faced in the direction of the voice. "My mother transferred me here," not wanting to continue this conversation, she added, "shouldn't you call Tokiha-san and invite her to have dinner?"

Realizing this, Natsuki excused herself from the room and called the red head.

"Yo, Mai…" Shizuru could hear the whole conversation, her walls weren't as thick as Natsuki would have probably liked.

"I'm going to be busy tonight, so go and have dinner without me."

…

"Don't worry, I'll eat."

…

"I might be back late, so don't wait up, sorry."

…

"Jeez, you're not my mother. Bye."

Natsuki's phone call was quick and, honestly, quite cute. They certainly looked out for each other. "What did she say?" Shizuru asked once Natsuki returned to the kitchen.

"She said she was ran into some old friends as well and wouldn't be able to come."

Shizuru smiled slightly. 'Natsuki, you liar… You didn't even invite her.' She thought to herself. Natsuki was proud of her lie that she thought she had managed to pull off, albeit, a bit confused by the smile.

Before Natsuki left the Shizuru's house to go find something suitable to eat for them to eat for dinner, she borrowed a shirt and jeans from Shizuru. It was uncomfortable sitting around in a kimono, and she definitely didn't want to leave the house in it again. She had been used to Mai cooking for her for the last several years, and she hardly ate on her own. Natsuki had been prone to skipping a meal or two if she was too lazy. The truth is, that after Shizuru had left, Natsuki had gotten noticeably skinner and more pale and that's when Mai took it upon herself to take care of the blue haired girl. Mai made sure Natsuki had at the very least two meals a day and ate more than just instant ramen and mayonnaise.

After stepping out of the house, Natsuki let out a sigh of relief. She hadn't noticed before that she was so nervous around Shizuru and that she had been making sure that she didn't say the wrong thing to offend her and was not able to truly be herself around her anymore. Natsuki had a hard time defining who 'herself' was, in fact. Natsuki slowly walked down the streets, it was still a bit cold out, but you could tell that it was the beginning of spring. Leaves were slowly growing back on the trees and the wind was a bit calmer. Natsuki put the hood of the borrowed jacket to keep her ears warm and shoved her hands into the pockets. She wondered how the two of them had they ended up like this.

Before Natsuki's thoughts got too deep, she ran into a small vendor on the streets selling yakitori. The smell in the air was more than enough of a welcome for her to make up her mind. Natsuki made sure that she had more than enough food, and picked up some ice cream at the local convenience store. No matter how cold it is, ice cream is always too good to turn down. She had known instantly that Shizuru would want the green tea flavor and grabbed an ice cream bar for herself.

Natsuki slowly walked back to the house and thought about what kind of conversation that the two of them could have. She longed to see her, yet after finally being able to see Shizuru face to face, she couldn't think of a single thing that she wanted to say. Her mind drew a blank, and she just wanted to sit there and stare at her longingly. Almost if she were to suddenly disappear from her again, Natsuki almost refused to take her eyes off of her.

Without thinking, Natsuki was suddenly face to face with Shizuru's door. She was lucky that her feet naturally took her back to that house, if she had been focusing on where she was going, she probably would have lost her way in the unfamiliar neighborhood. Natsuki knocked on the door and stepped inside when the door opened and took off the shoes she had borrowed. She whispered "ojamashimasu" under her breath, while walking to put the food in the kitchen. Shizuru followed closely behind, and bumped into her when she stopped.

Natsuki stopped in her tracks when she saw a man sitting there. He wasn't there when she had left, but easily recognized him as the one that was helping Shizuru around during the performance. Natsuki apologized to Shizuru, and faced Shinichi. Having good manners, Shinichi stood up when Natsuki entered the room and with a smile he introduced himself.

"Hi," he started slowly, "have we met before?"

"No, I don't think so. My name is Natsuki," she said with a slight bow. "I'm an old classmate of Shizuru's"

Instantly Shinichi's smile dropped, yet it was recovered in no time. He knew where he had seen her face before. He should've instantly recognized it when there were pictures of her all over this home away from home. "Shinichi." He introduced himself, "It's nice to finally meet the famous Natsuki."

Natsuki was confused and looked at Shizuru for help, but she was harder to read now more than ever. Her fake smile was plastered on at all times, and now her eyes were hidden behind her sunglasses.

"Well, now that you're here, you might as well join us for dinner," Natsuki offered. "I bought a little bit extra and it should be enough for all of us. I could always go back and get more."

Shinichi smiled at the two and politely declined. "I actually was just stopping by on my way home but I should be going now." He said as he worked his way to the door.

The two saw him to the door and said their goodbyes. "Thank you for stopping by." Shizuru said, yet the other two knew that she wasn't being honest with them.

"I'll stop by tomorrow around lunch, I hope you'll be free." Shinichi added while taking one last look at Natsuki who was just awkwardly standing there.

The two of them settled nicely at the dinner table as the sun was setting and it was getting dark out. There was a slight drop in temperature and Shizuru turned on the lights for Natsuki before it got dark. She always had the habit of turning on the lights even though she didn't need them, but it made the atmosphere feel like there was a little more life.

They ate quietly and Natsuki watched how flawlessly Shizuru could do everything. She admired how she moved so gracefully and how her face was a little more defined than it was the last time she saw her. It thinned out a little, so her cheekbones stood out more and her hair had grown quite a lot. It was now down to her waist and it would flow ever so gently as she moved. She still had her bangs, and they too were a little longer. It was pushed to the side more or less and rested on the rims of her sunglasses. Natsuki stared intensely at those glasses, trying her best to see behind them. Slowly the minutes passed while she mindlessly ate, focusing all her attention on the glasses.

"Can you take them off?" Natsuki finally asked, "Your glasses, I mean."

Shizuru knew something was on the other girl's mind. She took small piece of chicken off of the stick and placed the now bare stick on her plate. "Does it bother you?"

"No," Natsuki instinctively answered, "Well, I mean, just a little bit. It's dark out already and we're inside the house…"

"If it makes you uncomfortable I'm sorry." Shizuru responded. She took a sip of her hot tea and reached for another stick with chicken on it. "You should trust me when I say that you'd feel more uncomfortable if I took them off."

Not wanting to argue, Natsuki kept quiet. Surprisingly, they ate all of the food, and Natsuki volunteered to clear the table while Shizuru just sat down for a while drinking her tea. She watched the steam fog up her glasses, and chuckled at the thought. It was quite a sight to see her like this, but quickly realized that this really wasn't a laughing matter at all and regretted letting out that laugh.

"How about some ice cream for dessert?" Natsuki asked while drying her hands after finishing the dishes. The air was thick around them and they both felt it.  
"How about a drink?" Shizuru offered.

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**A/N: **ZOMG. Ahahahah this story is soo horrible… I'm sooo sorry. I wrote this at school because I didn't want to study for my midterms… I'm sorry I made you guys wait this whole time and this chapter was very unexciting. It wasn't even fun to write… I'm totally at a complete stop with this story, so if you guys have any suggestions, please, I beg of you to leave a review. Thank you guys for continuing to read this and in advance for your reviews!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Ahaha… *sweat drop* … sorry about the wait… I thought I was going to update this before my trip for spring break, and after I came back I just had no motivation anymore… Well it's finals time and I always seem to update when I'm too busy to do anything. The power of procrastination! Well at least there's a new chapter now right? (´∀｀)

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Natsuki looked at her disbelievingly while putting the dishcloth down.

"Uhh… I think I'm good. I'm not even old enough yet."

"Ara, but it's not very often that I get to be with" Shizuru took a small pause, "Natsuki." She consciously made an effort to not say 'my Natsuki.' Shizuru continued with a smile, "I think this calls for a little bit of a celebration, don't you think?"

Natsuki walked back to the table to sit down, "Well, I guess… But only a little!"

Just as she sat, Shizuru got up out of her seat and headed to the cupboard where she kept a bottle of expensive looking sake and two small sake cups. "Of course, I'm responsible." she added. Natsuki could almost imagine her winking when she said that.

Shizuru subtly dragged her hand along the edge of the table to guide her back to her seat and twisted off the cap of the bottle and slowly started pouring the alcohol. She tilted the glass and her finger rested at the rim and when the liquid touched her finger, she stopped pouring. Shizuru handed the cup to Natsuki and Natsuki looked on as Shizuru poured her cup as well. With the smile, the two raised their cups and downed it.

Natsuki offered to pour the next round and they drank it slowly.

"So, how have you been?" Natsuki attempted to start a conversation.

"Fine. It was hard to adapt to my new life, but it's been a lot easier with Shinichi around to help me."  
Natsuki cringed. "Is he your…"

A slender brow arched, "my…"

"Boyfriend?"

A sad smile appeared on Shizuru's face, "Natsuki, do you really feel the need to ask me this question after all these years?" she answered, finishing her cup, pouring another for herself. "You of all people should know."

Natsuki followed Shizuru's cue and downed the rest of her cup as well and she felt, well, relieved…? How could she feel happy to hear such an answer when such a pained looked was on her friend's face?

Natsuki reached over the table, slowly and tried to take Shizuru's glasses off. She wanted to see her face and all of her true emotions. Shizuru felt the pressure on her frames and the small tug on her glasses when she realized what was going on. With a small smile of apology, Shizuru held the glasses on her face. Natsuki retracted her hand, getting the hint. She was glad that Shizuru wasn't upset about it and the two just carried on like nothing happened.

Before either of them realized, they were three-fourths of the bottle done. Natsuki was very loose in her actions and both were a lot more open in their conversations. Shizuru had been drinking a fair bit more than Natsuki so she knew that the other girl had to be at least decently tipsy, but if it weren't for the pink glow in her cheeks, no one would be the wiser.

Limits. These two girls knew theirs, but they definitely kept pushing it. The two topped off the bottle and decided to move into a more comfortable room to talk. As Shizuru stood up she took much more care of her movements. Very slowly feeling her way to the sink with her left hand, while her right held the empty bottles and cups. After placing the dirty dishes into the sink, Shizuru faced the door and took a deep breath. The alcohol in her system took her guard down and her confident actions showed how much effort was actually needed in the smallest of tasks. Natsuki, without realizing it, had taken Shizuru's hand and the two walked into the adjoining room.

Shizuru let out a pure, happy, albeit drunken, smile as the two sat on the couch. She wrapped her arms around Natsuki's neck and whispered next to her ear in an innocent tone, "Stay the night." Natsuki chuckled as she could smell the alcohol in her breath and unwrapped the other girl's arms off of her. It was getting late and she decided that she should keep an eye on Shizuru. That's the excuse that she decided on to hide the fact that this is where she truly wants to be.

At some point in the night, Shizuru had fallen asleep, resting her head in Natsuki's lap. Shizuru kept a content smile on as she napped, yet a small tear made its way down her face. Shizuru was so good at keeping her mask on, that she could do it in her sleep. Natsuki was unknowingly stroking her hair as she whispered to herself, "Why does it take the effects of alcohol to allow us show each other how we really feel?" The gentle words woke Shizuru. Still lying on Natsuki's lap, she let out a small grunt while stretching her arms. Shizuru seemed so relaxed and comfortable as she had that silly grin on her face.

Shizuru's grin faded a little when Natsuki removed her hands from her hair, and the smile was completely dropped when she felt the tug of her glasses again. Shizuru's hands instantly went to Natsuki's, yet she put no resistance on them. She closed her eyes as she felt her glasses very slowly and carefully being pulled off. Her facial expressions showed confusion. She was unsure if she should be letting Natsuki do this. Once the glasses were completely off, she lowered her right hand while her left tried to cover her face.

The calmness in Natsuki's actions contrasted the rapid beating of Shizuru's heart. Shizuru could feel Natsuki's gaze on her. Shizuru couldn't take the intense atmosphere anymore and she scrunched up her eyebrows while her hands were frantically looking for her glasses. She was about to sit up after she couldn't find them, but Natsuki placed her hand on Shizuru's forehead. She gently rubbed the bridge of Shizuru's nose and her expressions instantly became noticeably softer. Shizuru's eyes were still tightly shut, but allowed for Natsuki to remove her hand away from her face.

"Shizuru," Natsuki whispered. Shizuru could feel the calmed breathing on her face. The slight smell of alcohol hit her nose. It was in that moment she realized what was going on. The smell actually sobered her up a little and she sat up, trying to get away. Natsuki let her out of her lap and Shizuru felt around for her glasses. Seeing her look for her glasses, Natsuki gave up trying to see her eyes for tonight. Feeling defeated, she handed them back.

"Ara, that was careless of us," Shizuru forcing herself to sober up more, "it's getting late. We should turn in for tonight."

Natsuki looked at the clock hanging on the wall across from them. Squinting, she realized it was already a quarter after one.

Shizuru started walking down the hallway, leading Natsuki to her bedroom. She told Natsuki to sleep in there, while she grabbed the spare futon and headed to the other room. All the progress they have made towards the normality that the two used to have, faded in an instant. They were back to square one.

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Morning came far too quickly, and Shizuru was woken up by the sound of the doorbell. Knowing who it had to be, Shizuru went to go answer the door. Getting up, she walked straight into the wall, forgetting that she had not slept in her own room last night. After getting her bearings, she brushed herself off and walked to the door.

Natsuki had woken up to hearing a loud sound of something hitting the wall. Her first time waking up to the after-effects of alcohol, she needed something to drink and was not so pleased waking up with a headache. After lying in bed for a little while, letting her eyes adjust to the sun, she got up and decided to see if Shizuru was awake yet. As she headed out of the door of the bedroom she was stopped by a conversation that caught her interest.

"It's her fault in the first place Shizuru. Why are you letting her back in your life?" A clearly upset Shinichi could be heard.

"Don't raise your voice." Shizuru responded calmly and forcefully, "It's not her fault."  
"How long are you going to turn a blind eye towards this Shizuru?"

"I will be blind for the rest of my life." Shizuru replied in a sardonic tone. She absolutely knew that this is not what he implying, but she was not used to Shinichi raising his voice towards her. Plus, he should choose his words more wisely if he wants to pick a fight.

"Shizuru, being physically blind is not your problem here." A witty reply that Shizuru was not expecting, "I feel that you are simply blinded by your love for her. I thought you were past all of this already." Shinichi said caught a glimpse of Natsuki standing in the corner. He glared at her back, and without saying another word, he walked away.

Once Shizuru knew that he left, she closed the door and leaned her head against it. "So did I," she muttered to herself.

Shizuru took a deep breath and started making her way back to the kitchen. She grabbed her glasses off the table and before she could put them on, Natsuki saw a flash of those hollow eyes. 'It's my fault?' She thought to herself. How could it be her fault?

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**A/N: **I hope that you enjoyed this chapter… I don't know when I'll be able to update again. Not too much motivation… :/ sorry guys…. I'm not really enjoying this story. I'm only really writing it for you guys (and the sake of procrastination) so if there is anything that you guys want to see happen, tell me and I'll probably write it in. I have almost no ideas for this. Well, if you guy want to read more you should leave a review! :D Thanks. I think reviews are the greatest motivation! But honestly, I think another chapter will come out a lot sooner than this one took because it'll be summer so I'll have lots of time. Probably. :3


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** YAY! Finally right? Haha sorry I haven't been updating as planned… It's so hard to find motivation and inspiration. I do wish to thank you all though for supporting me with reviews, it's really the only way I feel like updating. Also, I want to thank you noobsdog for your most recent review. Without which, I would not ever have felt like updating. Sorry for the wait, here's the next chapter.

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Natsuki took a small step forward. The creaking of the floor alerted Shizuru of her presence, but she just continued into the kitchen. Her hair was in a loose, messy bun, but she couldn't care less at the moment. She has a rude awakening and could feel a headache forming. She grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and poured them a glass of water from the fridge. Without a word, she offered Natsuki the glass and Natsuki took it. Downing most of it in a quick chug, Natsuki helped herself to more water.

As she finished off her third glass, she stood there looking at Shizuru. The sun was coming nicely through the windows in the kitchen, warming up the house a little bit. A small wind chime would ring quietly when then wind would blow and there was a nice breeze coming through. It was a beautiful day outside. Shizuru was leaning against the counter holding the glass close to her face with her right hand while her left crossed over her stomach. The condensation from the cups started to drip on the floor as time passed the two like that.

"Natsuki," Shizuru finally spoke up. "I thought I told you it was rude to stare?"

Natsuki let out a surprised gasp, and felt her cheeks warm up. Suddenly there was a cool hand pressed against her face.

The back of Shizuru's left hand was placed against her cheek. She couldn't tell if it was the coolness of the hand, or the presence of it, but her blush died down a little. Shizuru let out a little laugh, "Gomen ne, Natsuki. I knew you'd be blushing after being caught again and that's the only way I'd know for sure" Shizuru removed her hand. "You know, I don't need my eyes to read the atmosphere."

Natsuki let out a half sigh half chuckle, "You're right. I'm sorry."

"It is nothing to be sorry about." Shizuru replied in a playful manner.

Natsuki returned her gaze to her, "It's really been a long time hasn't it? You look the same, but I want to say you have a more, mature feel to you now."

Shizuru's eyes were a little puzzled as Natsuki continued, "Well, I'm not sure you could get any more mature than you were in high school. You were always taking care of everything back then."

A small smile appeared back on Shizuru's face, "No Natsuki, only things that pertained to you."

"Shizuru!" Natsuki felt a blush come on again, "I lied, you're just as immature with your jokes as you were back in school."

Shizuru let out another little chuckle, "How rude, I wasn't joking."

The two of them laughed the matter off.

Shizuru stuck her hand out, just several inches away from Natsuki's face. "It's not fair that you can see how I've changed, but to me, I can only picture the Natsuki I knew back in high school." Shizuru slowly brought her hand closer as it touched Natsuki's cheek again. She slowly brought her hand to the side and could feel her hair. It was silkier than she remembered it being, and definitely a fair bit longer.

Natsuki stood there, her eyes closed and she felt Shizuru's trembling fingers comb through her hair. There were no words said between them during these moments. Shizuru put her glass of water down on the counter as it made a small clacking sound. It was the only sound coming heard in the whole house besides the wind chime. Shizuru brought both of her hands up to the top of Natsuki's head, and as her fingers ran through the other girl's hair, her thumbs gently brushed against her face. She carefully placed her palms over her cheeks and could feel that they had become a lot skinnier than what she could recall, a lot bonier. Her fingertips ran slowly and gently over her eyes and she could feel Natsuki's long eyelashes, while her thumbs, secretly, felt her much more fuller lips. Shizuru had always looked at Natsuki and admired her, but it had been from afar. This was her first time that she could truly "see" what Natsuki looked like and almost feel every detail. She could feel Natsuki's blush coming back and regrettably removed her hands from her face.

Before Shizuru's hands were completely away from her face, Natsuki took one in her hands and rubbed it against her cheek. This familiarity and comfort was always something she wished she could find. Shizuru broke the silence when she felt the thin fingers encircle her hands. "Have you been well?" Shizuru had concluded that she had lost a fair bit of weight over the span of three years.

Natsuki let out her breath and chose to ignore the question as she let go of her hands. "I could use some breakfast…" Natsuki turned the conversation onto a lighter tone.

Shizuru started making toast as she got out the jam and plates. "How's your head feeling?"

"Hmm…" Natsuki responded, it was an odd feeling having a hang over, "Not too bad, but I could be better. I don't think I'll be able to do much thinking today though." Natsuki just used reverse psychology on herself, in that instant, she started thinking about the incident earlier at the door. The silence overcame them again.

"Natsuki, I hope that doesn't mean that you just fell back asleep."

"How is it my fault?" Natsuki asked after a small pause. As on cue, the toaster chimed. Shizuru made her way towards the toaster over, opening the door letting out all the steam. "It's not, I'm sorry I had you drink with me last night. I thought it would be a good way to have our reunion without tension." She placed the two pieces of toast on each plate and walked over to the table. Shizuru set the plate opposite of her on the table and after spreading jam on her toast she placed the jar closer to Natsuki.

Natsuki picked the jar up, but placed it back on the table, "No, I mean what that Shinichi guy was saying earlier."

Just as Shizuru was bringing the toast up to her mouth to take a bite, she stopped and put it back down. Feigning innocence, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"He said it was my fault, the reason why you're blind."

Shizuru didn't expect Natsuki to right out and say it, but now there was no avoiding it. "He doesn't know what he's talking about. There is no way that any of it could be your fault." She dusted her fingers of crumbs as she continued, "I was just involved in an accident. No one is at fault."

"Do you blame me?" The food went untouched, despite how hungry Natsuki was just minutes ago.

Shizuru took a deep and calming breath. "No, of course not. Don't think such ridiculous thoughts. Weren't you listening to what I was just saying?"

"Then why won't you tell me what happened?" This wasn't a light matter, and it definitely shouldn't be treated lightly. They were going nowhere if they couldn't talk about such simple, yet very vital things.

"Calm down. It was just an accident; it was nobody's fault. I was just involved in a small traffic accident when I was crossing the street. If anyone is to blame, it's myself."

Natsuki thought that there was no way that Shizuru was careless enough to get into an accident. It was coming together now. She recalled sirens on that day several years ago. "When? When was this?"

Shizuru remained silent. "That day wasn't it?" Natsuki questioned. "It has to be that day. That day while I was waiting for you, I recall hearing an ambulance. Please don't tell me that was for you. _Please_ don't tell me. Please, please."

The Shizuru was quiet. Natsuki chanted "please" as a mantra, hoping that it would change the fact that it was indeed Shizuru in the accident. "While you were trying to meet me? While you were crossing the street to meet _me_ you were hit by a car?" Natsuki figured it all out now.

"Natsuki, please," Shizuru couldn't stand hearing Natsuki break down like this, "Stop making it sound like it was your fault. As I said before, there is no one to blame but myself."

Their food was completely forgotten about, and it even seemed like the world stopped for them. There were no birds chirping, no wind blowing, just the intensity and conflict between the two growing.

"I shouldn't have forced you to meet me that day." Tears were silently rolling down her cheeks. Despite the how hard they were flowing, they went unnoticed by the unseeing Shizuru.

"You didn't. I was more than willing to see you on my own volition."

"I shouldn't have called you. I felt we were becoming distant and I couldn't handle it, so I called you out selfishly and look what happened!"

"Stop it." Shizuru was tired of Natsuki's foolishness already. Raising her voice, repeating herself. "You are absolutely not at fault."

Shizuru hoped that she was getting through to Natsuki as the argument seemed to be at a halt. Just then, the conversation got harder, opening a whole new can of worms. "Why didn't you contact me?"

"I'm sorry, I was a little busy at the time, I was going through a hard time. It's definitely not easy going blind, I promise you."

Leaving no room for excuses, Natsuki stood up. "For three years Shizuru? For three years, you couldn't find just one short moment to tell me?"

The vibrations from the table shook Shizuru down to the core. She could not find the words or the courage. Leaning forward, she fell out of the chair onto her knees, letting out quiet sobs. Her hair fell out of its bun, letting strands go everywhere. Almost crawling, she made her way to Natsuki silently begging forgiveness. Oh how the conversation had turned. Natsuki bent down to be on the same level as her. "Why couldn't you tell me? Why did you leave me to suffer on my own without you? Why did you force yourself to suffer on your own?"

The two stayed like that for several moments, Natsuki cradling a broken down Shizuru. Despite the long and heartfelt conversation, many questions were left unanswered, the food went uneaten, their relationship still not repaired.

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**A/N:** Here's to another chapter that I wrote on zero hours of sleep and a week before summer school midterms. :3 I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and can wait for the next one! Remember, reviews equal love, love equals update!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **HI! Do you remember me? I wouldn't blame you if you didn't. It has been over a year and a month… I said "Remember, reviews equal love, love equals update! :3" and many of you kind readers DID leave me VERY nice reviews, yet I didn't keep up my end of the deal. I'm sorry, but here at last is a (short) chapter…

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Quietness surrounded them and discomfort settled in.

"I'm sorry." Natsuki whispered out, " It's really not fair of me to be mad at you." Natsuki was quick to blame Shizuru on the lack of contact the two had over the last several years, but Natsuki had made no effort either. How she would love to say that she was 'suffering in silence' without her beloved friend by her side, but that would just be selfish. Shizuru was literally suffering in darkness.

"I'm going to head out." Shizuru continued. Trying her best to appear as nonchalant as possible, she stood up tightly gripping the chair next to her. After talking a deep breath and composing herself, she walked slowly and calmly towards the door. "I'll leave a spare key behind the porch light, so please use that to lock the door after you leave." Without directly saying it, she strongly implied that Natsuki should _not_ be there when Shizuru got home. It's too bad to say that Natsuki wasn't one to take a hint.

Even after Shizuru had left the house, the only thing on Natsuki's mind was the guilt eating away at her. She could not but help feel guilty for the accident; it was _her fault_. As the minutes passed, she finally came to a decision.

"Hey Mai," Natsuki said over the phone. "I think I'm over this trip. There are a few things I need to clear up with Shizuru and suddenly I'm not in a great mood to go hopping around the country."

Not to say that the called surprised Mai, but it was she was still kind of hurt from the sudden abandonment. "Uhh…" Mai replied dumbly with a lack of a better response.

"I think Shizuru is having a really hard time right now, and I'm pretty sure that she doesn't want me here, but somehow I feel that I can't leave yet."

Still not quite understanding the situation, "So what should I do with all your stuff? We're supposed to check out tomorrow afternoon."

"Just leave it, I'll pick it up either tonight or tomorrow. Sorry about this Mai, I'll see you when we get back to Fuuka." Natsuki concluded the call on a somber note.

Although Shizuru spent her whole day in a coffee shop, it was well past 10 by the time she got home, and she was exhausted. She was not used to spending more than a couple of hours outside of the house, and definitely not used to being alone. She had yet to get a white cane for when she went out. Before she thought that she didn't need it, but realized that it is a necessity now. She could not and does not want to always rely on Shinichi for the rest of her life.

Unbeknownst to Shizuru, she was not the only one in the house. While waiting for Shizuru to come home, the younger girl had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. Shizuru got ready for bed quickly and quietly when Natsuki had woken up.

Groggily, Natsuki got up and walked towards Shizuru's bedroom. Standing by the doorway, she could see that Shizuru had gotten into bed and she could hear a slight sniffling. She watched her patiently and lovingly until she could hear Shizuru's breathing calm down. Natsuki continued standing there, afraid to move and startle the other girl. Assuming that Shizuru thought she had left, Natsuki figured that their talk to wait until the next day.

Natsuki was unconsciously slowly making her way next to Shizuru's bedside. Without knowing, she gently lifted her hand and brushed a small lock of hair out of the sleeping girl's face. The stiffing of the atmosphere and the face beneath told her that Shizuru wasn't sleeping yet, but that did not deter her actions. She gently placed her hand on her cheek, and to her surprise, Shizuru gently placed her hands on top of hers.

With her calloused hands, she could feel the softness of Shizuru's cheek, the wetness of her freshly fallen tears, and the pressure, weight, and expectations of warm hands encompassing her own.

Earlier that day, Shizuru had realized how much she relied on Shinichi. She had not gone a day without his support and had never been out by herself. For the first time, she had felt the overpowering loneliness of her disability. She could not walk, nor could she even sit quietly in a café without the kindness of strangers. She felt so out of place in her own neighborhood. She realized that she could not live like this, depending on others all the time. She also realized that there was nothing that could be done whether she liked it or not. Being blind is a fact that she would just have to accept about her life from now on and she'd just have to get used to it.

Shizuru was brought out of her thoughts when Natsuki placed her left hand upon her cheek. She felt Natsuki's slightly rough thumbs rubbing her below her eyes, and then realizing that she had let the tears escape again. She could not tell if it was Natsuki hands or her face that was trembling slightly.

Letting out a small breath, "How," Shizuru heard her voice crack, taking a small pausing and clearing her throat. "How…"

Shizuru's tears were flowing freely now; she was not even trying to hold them back anymore. Natsuki could not figure out what to do. She was unsure if she was upsetting Shizuru by overstaying her welcome or if she should stay by Shizuru's side as she selfishly wished. All confusion on what to do was cleared up when she finally heard her question.

"How could I ask you to stay by my side when I'm like this?"

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**A/N:** It's been a hellva year for me. I had a blast in Japan (if you were wondering the hell I was doing for that whole time I was MIA), but back to reality, back in school and waiting for the next time I can go back to Japan. I want to promise that the next chapter will be a lot sooner now that I'm back home, but I'm pretty stumped (also the last couple times I've made promises, nothing got out…). I'm sorry, this story is getting harder to write and I hope it's not boring you guys. Your feedback is greatly welcomed. This story is not abandoned, but I have no idea when I'll get the next update out. It might be in a couple days, it might be in a couple months. Also, thanks for all those that continued to read this story! It's for all of you guys that I want to continue this story and not give up!


	8. Chapter 8

My five-hour flight got delayed four hours… So I've been in this airport for six hours… Lucky for you, that means I have a little free time to kill and decided to spend it writing this for your lovely, loyal fans. I want to thank you to those of you that just started reading this as well. This is for you guys!

Going to sleep in a world of darkness, it's what we all do when we close our eyes and doze off. Waking up in a world of darkness, it's a horrible thing that no one should have to do; yet it's something that many may have to suffer from. Waking up into a world of darkness alone, that is something that something that Natsuki could spare Shizuru of. That is what Natsuki wanted to save Shizuru from.

Natsuki thought this as the two of them drifted to sleep. Natsuki, sitting on the floor watching Shizuru doze off, laid her head on the bed hoping that they had finally made it. She hoped with all of her heart that they would not have to be separated this time.

Shizuru woke up with a startle. Waking up in a sweat, she jolted upright in her bed pulling the hand that was attached to her, waking the other sleeping girl out of her slumber.

"Whoa! What happened?" Natsuki looking up at Shizuru, who in turn turned her head towards the voice, hair sticking to her sweaty face and wide eyed. Getting her bearings, Shizuru instantly, instinctively shut her eyes and attempted to calm down and fix her appearance.

"Don't be so reserved." Natsuki felt like the distance that shorted last night had just gotten seven miles longer.

For some reason, it was hard for Shizuru to feel natural around the girl sitting next to her. "Shall we head downstairs?" Shizuru opted to change the location in hopes of changing the situation for the better.

Shizuru tried to get out of bed, not noticing until now how tightly she had been holding on to Natsuki's hand. Surprisingly, the hand was holding hers back with just as much ferocity and need, almost feeling safe with her fingers intertwined. Just almost.

Releasing her hand, she felt her way to the edge of the bed and worked her way to the bedroom door. She could feel Natsuki's eyes watching her every move, as if she was being judged and followed. In high school, that was a common feeling. Although she was not one to boast about her popularity, she knew that eyes were constantly on her and admiring her. She tried her best to be the "perfect" girl that everyone expected her to be, but now she had given up, it was just too much work. It was tiring, she really only wanted attention from one person back then, but she felt that she had overcame that silly, selfish want. By the time she had made it to the door, she could feel Natsuki following her closely behind. Shizuru had stated to build up a cold sweat again.

"I'll meet you downstairs," Shizuru tried to excuse herself, but she could still tell that Natsuki was still following her. Letting out a deep sigh, Natsuki caught the hint and stopped in her tracks, but for some reason, Shizuru still had a feeling that Natsuki's eyes were watching her until she closed to the door to the bathroom.

Shizuru started to run the water for the shower and stood facing the mirror, leaning over the sink. She stared into it deeply, yet try as she might, she could not see anything. She could not see what a mess that she looked like, she could not see the light in the room, and she didn't even realize that she didn't even turn the light on until that moment. She placed a shaky hand on the mirror, feeling the coolness of the glass. Tears ran down her face as frustration over took her. She did not let out a single sob as she punched the glass as hard as she could.

There was no satisfaction of hearing the glass crack, yet the throbbing of her hand confirmed her actions. She ran it under cool water before jumping into the shower. A cold shower should help clear her mind and ease her frustrations.

After getting out of the shower, she took a deep, calming breath and wrapped herself in a towel. She herself did not even realize how much work it took to live an everyday life since she got accustomed to living alone.

Shizuru walked slowly back down the hall to her room to get dressed. The stress was piling on her and it caused her to loose control of herself. Although she had counted out loud, she had still missed the door by about four steps that caused her to bump into the wall. She took several more calming breaths before trying again. Finally making it into her room she pulled her drawer out to get her underwear out, yet she underestimated her strength and everything came falling out onto the floor. She couldn't handle anymore and let out a loud scream, breaking down.

Natsuki ran up to the room in fast than a blink of an eye. "Shizuru! Are you OK?!" She looked sadly at the girl sitting on the floor, crying next to a capsized drawer surrounded in clothes. Shizuru's towel was starting to fall off of her body and Natsuki walked slowly towards the other girl.

Natsuki calmly walked behind Shizuru and rewrapped the towel around her body securely. She embraced her from behind and rested her head on her shoulder, not saying another word.

Shizuru, finally understanding what was going on, leaned back into the protective arms, laughing at the whole situation. "Look at me Natsuki! This is so pathetic! I'm so pathetic! How could you want to be here with me when I can't even clothe myself?"

The harshness of her words shocked Natsuki, causing her to hold her tightly, resting her head on her shoulder, Shizuru's cold wet hair against her cheek, "Are you kidding me? How could I be away from you when you're like this?"

I just realized that this story started off in the POV of Natsuki and changed to the POV of Shizuru. Sorry for my incompetence and if you didn't notice, great! Either did I. lol. I was going to make this longer but I got a phone call and it ate away at all my time. Reviews and comments are greatly appreciated! Until the next chapter!~


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **HELLO! GUESS WHO'S BACK! I'm sorry for the wait, just read the damn thing already.

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The long seconds passed as Shizuru sat in Natsuki's arms. Natsuki's even and still breathing calmed her nerves a bit before she was able to think properly again. Once Natsuki started to feel the tense body relax a little, she lightened her grip around the girl and rested her chin atop her shoulder.

Shizuru started to stand, straightening herself up and holding a tight grip on her towel. Trying to blow everything off as if it was not a big deal, she cleared her throat, "I'm sorry about that," she steadies her voice, "I'm fine, you can leave now."

Natsuki sat on the floor dumbly and looked up in disbelief. "I know you're strong, you don't have to prove anything." She stood slowly, she grabbed the spewed out clothes and put it in the empty drawer. She grabbed a matching pair of underwear and opened the drawer beneath it to find a shirt. Finally, she grabbed the pair of jeans resting on the nearby chair. Completely silent, she led Shizuru to the edge of the bed and placed the clothes in her lap before stepping out of the room.

Shizuru was dumbfounded by Natsuki's sweet nature. She tried her best to shake off the shock once she heard the door click and pulled herself together and get dressed. She laughed quietly to herself while her finger traced the edge of her bra. She was a bit surprised that after all their lingerie escapades, she would've figured Natsuki to choose something not so… bland. Although, she wasn't the least bit surprised that Natsuki made the effort to find a matching set. She slipped into her clothes silently, taking her time. After her little tantrum, she was more than a little bit ashamed to show her face to the other girl.

After the door closed with a small click, Natsuki turned her back to the door and slid down, wrapping her arms around her legs and curling into a ball. She let out small, silent sobs as the image of her strong, stoic protector torn down to tears burned into the back of her mind. After she heard shuffling, she decided to make her way downstairs, back into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. The strongly caffeinated drink would probably be bad for her increasingly painful headache, but at least the beloved beverage will calm her nerves and help settle her mind.

Shizuru washed her face and straightened her demeanor. It took a while before she could finally build her courage to leave the safety of the closed door and make her way down to the small sounds of the other girl echoing throughout the house. Step by step, Shizuru griped the railing, taking time to clear her head, never a step out of place.

Once she neared the kitchen, the smell of coffee overwhelmed her senses, letting a smile creep across her face as she remembered a time when she would have to deal with a caffeine-high Natsuki whom had one to many cups of coffee, a time when she would make a cup of coffee for the girl that fell asleep on her table at school, a time after weeks of distance when she was supposed to get a cup of coffee after graduation.

Shizuru dismissed the small stumble of her train of thoughts. She came downstairs with a purpose. Full of determination, "Natsuki,"

The blue-haired girl, surprised by the sudden appearance, tried to get a firm grip on her cup so she wouldn't spill the black tar. "Shizuru, hey." She smiled at her appearance. She looked a lot better now; her clothes and hair no longer disheveled and a calm, almost serene smile in place. Then it hit her. It was _that_ smile. The very familiar smile that holds secrets and heartache.

"Natsuki, I was thinking about what you said earlier," Shizuru grabbed a cup and poured herself some coffee; grabbing creamer from the refrigerator, she added it along with a spoonful of sugar. Her gentle movements only allowed for the quietest of clinks as it hit the walls of the cup. She placed the spoon in the sink before directing herself to the table.

"I know what Shinichi said must be bothering you," She took a small sip to allow for her thoughts to come out of her mouth responsibly. Natsuki knows she's supposed to say something but can't think, panic is flooding her mind.

Shizuru takes her silence as a cue to continue, "You're not responsible for anything. I don't want you to take responsibility for the accident and certainly not me. You have done nothing wrong and should not be punished as if you had."

"Shiz-" Natsuki tries to interject herself into the one-sided conversation, only to be cut off by a raised hand.

"I will not stand here and be yet another burden on you." Shizuru continues, smile never faltering. "I've gotten in the way of you living your life enough as was." Her words hit herself harder than she'd expect, keeping her voice steady, but just barely. Natsuki waits, taking in each word as she grips at her cup to relieve some of her building up emotions, her anger.

"I refuse to get in the way again." Shizuru pauses again, taking a small, silent breath. She tilts her head slightly, to put on an overcompensating look of indifference.

Natsuki let go of the cup, gritting her teeth, "Are you done?" She asked, irked. Shizuru could easily hear the irritation in her voice but just smiled in an almost sarcastic manner, adding fuel to the flames. Natsuki clenches her fists to calm herself, "I want to be here."

Fed up with what Shizuru can only assume are lies, she snaps, letting loose the rage and exhaustion that has been building up. "You didn't do this to me! You don't have to feel responsible and you don't have to stay here against your own will!"

"Didn't you hear me? I said, 'I **want** to be here.'" Natsuki repeats assertively.

She snaps her head up as if she could stare at Natsuki in the eyes, her hand knocking over the coffee. Shizuru tries to reach for a nearby towel, knocking a basket full of apples to the ground as well. She throws the towel in the area of the coffee and tries to wipe it up. "Look at me! This is so pathetic! I'm so pathetic. I can't do anything but get in your way."

Natsuki looks at Shizuru's attempts to clean, sadly. She grabs another towel, cleaning the spots that she missed. "You're not a burden, you're not going to be just someone I 'babysit.' Stop with the self-pity and you'll notice that I choose to be here." She tries to calm her temper. "How can you think our relationship so petty?" She asks disbelievingly.

"How could I not?" Shizuru says with a scoff. "Our relationship, if you could call it that, was clearly nothing but unrequited love." She can tell by the closeness of Natsuki's voice that she was helping clean the floor. "And I was fine with that."

"That's where you're wrong." Natsuki grabs the towel from the blind girl, throwing them into the sink and picking up the apples as well, "We're more than that."

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**A/N: **OMG! Hi guys! It's been a long year and a half…. How are you? Fine, I hope. I'm sorry for the long wait, but I told you! I haven't given up. I seriously, sincerely want to thank you for reading this and not giving up either. I hope that some of you are still here. PLEASE leave a message/review/flame/anything to tell me that you guys are still with me.

How I would love to say I've been busy having a life, but you guys are great and I don't want to lie. I have NO excuse but the lack of a muse. Hopefully this wasn't that bad. I've been out of practice. I tried to clean up the previous chapters as well so I hope it flows a bit better.

As I was saying, leave a review, let me know you're still with me. I ABSOLUTELY PROMISE TO GET ANOTHER CHAPTER OUT SOONER THAN THIS. (Well, given that there are people still reading…)


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **I'm back, I'm back, I'm back! Rejoice, read, enjoy!

* * *

Shizuru heard the towels being thrown into the sink, the sound of defeat echoing through the kitchen. Natsuki's last words sinking in as it played through her head. Words that must be ignored before she over reads into things again, before she gets swept up in Natsuki's sweet charm, before she falls for the same girl that unknowingly casts a spell on others, luring them in with her silly, sweet, playful nature.

"And what are you going to do?" Shizuru asked, getting back to the underlying point. Let's be realistic. Natsuki couldn't just throw away her life and spend it to be a caretaker for her.

"I have a bit saved up." She replied, pouring another cup of coffee for Shizuru, bring it back to her on the table. "I could stay here for a bit until I can get a job and get a place of my own."

"School." Shizuru took a hold of the cup that was placed in her hand, refusing to bring it to her lips. "What about college?"

Natsuki settled in the seat across from the brunette, grabbing her cup and taking a sip. "It can wait." She could tell with the twitch of her eyebrow and the tightening of her fist that Shizuru didn't like that answer.

"I can find a place around here, settle in, get a part time job, and then I can think about what I want to do for school." She tried her best to come up with a plan on the spot. She hadn't really thought it though all the way yet.

Sitting up straight, Shizuru placed the cup on the table calmly. "You can't just throw away your time on something as trivial as this. It's really not your responsibility to take care of me, Natsuki. You can just make a rash decision because you feel _guilty_."

"I'm not doing it because I feel guilty!" The small outburst echoed through the house. "I mean, I do." Green eyes sigh with sadness. "I do feel guilty, but that isn't the only reason why I'm staying."

The wind picked up, the chime causing for a small distraction. Eyes squint behind dark lenses as Shizuru moved her head so her bangs cover what little of her face that Natsuki could see. "Then why are you doing this?" She asked, daring her to say the words that she's hinting at. She knew that Natsuki would not have to courage to do so.

"I-.." Natsuki started to stutter out, "I want to be here with you. I want to be _with_ _you_."

The words, although coaxed out of the other girl still surprised Shizuru. She would've never had thought something like that would ever be said. In a small daze, the brunette does what she does best, "Ara, Natsuki, if you wanted to ask me out on a date, all you had to do was ask." She teases playfully.

"Then you'll let me be with you. You'll let me take care of you. You'll let me be y-your-" Natsuki's voice tappers off, becoming nothing more than a whisper, "precious person, again…"

Shizuru sits there, stunned at the words. Natsuki shifted, her hand starts making its way closer, across the table, halted when Shizuru's lips part, starting to say words.

"Natsuki, you don't know what you're saying." She can't think of anything else to say. There is no reason for this. "You don't know what you want, you just want to fix something that you did not break." Shizuru tried to make excuse after excuse, convincing Natsuki, but mostly herself, that this isn't happening.

"Stop treating me like I don't know what I want." The impatient girl snapped in a snarky reply. "I know what I want. It's starting to sound like you just don't want me here."

Shizuru stalled by taking a sip of her coffee, thinking as the steam rises and warms her cheeks. "Say you were to stay here." A smile instantly spread across Natsuki's face, "Would you be staying _here_?" Shizuru pointed to the table with her index finger, bending it at the first knuckle.

"I could find somewhere to stay nearby," Natsuki tried her best not to sound too excited, "I could stay in the hotel I was at before until I can find somewhere a little more permanent."

You could tell that Shizuru was thinking about what to say. She bit at her bottom lip ever so slightly, "You might as well stay here until you do." Despite her inner turmoil, her voice resounded clearly and firmly.

It took most of Natsuki's will not to make any sounds of joy as delight and happiness filled her to the brim. She downed her cup and placed it in the sink. "Really? It'll be fine?"

Shizuru heard scuffing against the floor, knowing that she should really think things like this over in her head before her heart makes decisions on it's own. "Of course."

Natsuki did a little fist pump in her mind and placed a thankful hand on the blind girl's shoulder. "Thanks, Shizuru. I guess… I'll go get my stuff from the hotel then. I'll be back later..?" Her voice still sounding a little unsure.

Before getting up from her seat, she grabbed a nearby sheet of paper and pencil. Using a ruler to guide her, she wrote her address and phone number on it. "Just in case you get lost or need anything."

At a quick glance, Natsuki could tell that the number was the same of that from years ago. "My number is the same as well." She blurted out, "Call me if you need anything. At all." She folded the small paper and stuffed in the jeans of the borrowed pants.

The two of them walk to the entrance, Shizuru stood quietly as she could hear the sounds of Natsuki putting on her shoes, opening the door. When the sounds were silenced, she let out a small laugh.

Natsuki stood there dumbly, looking around, lost. Shizuru grabbed her white cane and slipped on her shoes as well. "I'll take you to the nearest station. You can catch the train to city and catch a taxi from there."

"Shizuru, no. It's fine. Just give me directions." Natsuki tried to protest.

With a small rolling of her eyes, glad that they're covered by the shades, "It's fine. It's close and it'd just be easier for me to show you. I can handle myself more than you give me credit for."

The two headed out, the day a bit cloudy and a little chilly to be considered as 'nice weather,' but at least it wasn't raining. There was a calm stillness that befell upon the two; the tapping of the cane echoed through Natsuki's untrained ear as she watched carefully. The blue haired girl was paying more attention to making sure that Shizuru didn't misstep that she stumbled on a uneven pavement a couple times, earning nothing more than a smirk in return from the other.

Natsuki was surprised how elegantly Shizuru moved, without a hitch in her glide and they arrived at the station before she knew it. She would have to take a taxi back to the house since she wasn't paying attention to the road.

"I'll probably going to end up having to grab lunch with Mai, so I won't be back until later. I'll give you a call before I head back." Natsuki stated while she examined the train times.

An indifferent smile placed on Shizuru's face gave no clues to her emotions, but it was something Natsuki was used to. She'd have to work to earn back her trust and hopefully back to what they were before, something a little more than friendship.

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**A/N: **Cheehee~ Another chapter in the same year?! In the same MONTH? IN A WEEK?! What is going on?

I was amazed, surprised, stunned, blown away by how many of you guys still support me and this fic! I wanted to get something out to you as soon as possible and this is what I came up with. I think I have a general direction that I want this to go in, but if you have any comments, suggestions, complaints, anything, please let me know in a review!

A huge thanks to those that stuck with me and all the newcomers as well. Welcome aboard, I hope you enjoy the ride! Maybe if you guys leave enough reviews I'll get another chapter up soon again. ;] So me the love! Thanks!


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Another update so soon? Yes, believe it. :]

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The trains were the same as they are in Fuuka. A little less crowded, a little newer, the people a little nicer. Natsuki had some time before checkout when she knew that Mai would be there so she decided to walk instead of taking a taxi. Her mind was filled with so much that she couldn't concentrate on just one thing. What time would she be going back to Shizuru's place? How long was she welcome there? Is it her place to ask for her forgiveness? Was Mai upset? Does she have to explain _everything_ to the other girl? One question led to another, to another, to another, but none had a reasonable answer, none provided any comfort.

The confused biker grabbed a bottle of water from the convenience store in the lobby before making her way to the room. Empty. She threw all her clothes into the open suitcase and made sure she had everything before throwing herself on the bed, resting her eyes. She'd just have to answer each question as they came to her.

Time to face the first. Natsuki could hear the electronic beep and the loud click of the door when Mai got there a few minutes later. The green-eyed girl couldn't be bothered to peer at her as she kept her arm draped over her face. "I'm going to stay here," Natsuki called out, not moving.

"I know, you told me." Mai double-checked the room and bathroom before straightening out the bed a little.

"I mean, I'm going to stay here for a while." Natsuki clears up, hoping that Mai doesn't over react.

"Huh?" Mai asked, confused. "Like, a month?" Moving to sit at the end of the bed that Natsuki's lying on.

"No, like a long time." Natsuki moved her elbow a bit so she could peek to gauge a response from her best friend. "I'm going to move here."

"What?" Mai got off the bed looking down at her, "What do you mean you're _moving_ here?"

Natsuki was forced to sit up to address the inevitable conversation. "I'm going to stay here. I'll find a job and then start school down here in Kyoto."

"Because of Shizuru." Mai stated plainly. "I know you guys were close, but don't you want to think about this? Come back with me first and you can move here when you're ready. Maybe after you finish school." Mai tried her best to reason some sense into the confused girl.

"We were more than close." Natsuki skimmed the room, when everything looked clear she threw her packed bag on the bed, ready to go. "You know that she liked me. Well, more than liked me and that I was her 'precious person.' That's why when we battled, I disappeared as well when I won." She took a audible breath before continuing, "But, whoever won that fight, we both would've been gone. She was special to me, too. I just didn't know it. That's why I could summon Duran again after..." She paused remembering the facts about her mother and First District. She cleared her throat and continued, "That's why his size changed dramatically. I loved her, too." Mai sat there dumbly, her mouth agape.

"Well, stop looking at me like that," Natsuki spat as the realization hit her of what she just confessed. A blush warms her cheeks, "Whatever. So, I have to stay."

With a sharp turn of her head, her hair flowed behind her as she threw her duffle bag over her shoulder and walked towards the door. "Let's check out and grab lunch before you have to head out." She walked out of the door, not bothering to hold it open.

When she heard the door slam, Mai finally registered what was going on and got off the bed. She gave one last triple check of the room before rushing and stumbling out of the room behind Natsuki. They caught up with each other at the elevator, neither finding anything to say, the heavy weight of silence eating at them both.

"So that's why you didn't like Takeda." Mai interjected playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

"TOKIHA!" Natsuki yelled after her, only to be muffled a bit by the chime of the elevator doors opening.

Unfortunately for Natsuki, there were people in the elevator, she couldn't kill the busty girl right then and there, nor could she swear her profanities. She entered the small enclosure, gritting her teeth, stomping on the other girls foot as the door closed. Mai cried in pain silently to herself before letting out a small chuckle, 'totally worth it.'

* * *

Shizuru made her way back to her house. Letting out a sigh of relief once the other girl was gone. There was a underlying pressure to be the perfect person she wanted Natsuki to see her as. It had been tiring to put up the façade, it had been several years, but after a while it just came naturally again. Yet now, there was added difficulty came from her handicap.

It started to drizzle lightly as she made her way home, gradually picking up. She was more than happy to be in the warmth of her own house but could only roll her eyes when she found out her door was unlocked. _Great_.

She made her way to the kitchen where she knew the uninvited guest waited. As usual, at the same time everyday, in the same spot, watching the same news program, drinking the same coffee, there was Shinichi.

"I see she's finally gone." Shizuru could hear the sound of a picture frame being placed down, no doubt the one that Natsuki was just holding the other day.

"She'll be back." Shizuru took a collective breath, putting down her purse and keys on the counter before making her way to sit across from her visitor. There was a small, exasperated sigh from across the table and a clink when he turned the photo face down.

"She's not good for you." He stated cool and collected. "She'll pull you along and you'll end up in the same place you were before."

"Please don't speak as if you know her." Shizuru interjected, cutting him off before he could say anymore. "You don't know who she is or what she's like. You also have no say in my decisions. You're not my father, you're not my brother, and you are _not_ my boyfriend."

The last statement ticked off the dark-haired boy, placing his palms flat on the table trying to calm himself. "No, I'm not. But I am your friend. I'm looking out for you. Do you want to be thrown into that loop again?"

"I think I'm old enough to make my own personal decisions. I can handle myself." Shizuru tried to keep everything from falling apart. Shinichi was her knight in shining armor. He helped her and was there when she needed him. But he wasn't want she wanted. She knew what she wanted and he wasn't it. Natsuki was.

Shinichi gets up from his spot, "You weren't able to before."

Shizuru copies his gestures and starts walking him towards the door. "Well, we all learn from our mistakes. I know better now."

Shinichi put on his shoes at the entrance and opened the door himself. "You better." He stated impudently, letting the door close behind him without saying bye.

Shizuru locked the door behind him, making her way to the couch to lie down on. She was glad that was somewhat taken care of and which it went a little better, but she would have to take care of it when the time came. Neither of them had the resolve to settle the matter in a civil manner. It's her choice. She can make her own decisions. She shouldn't have to shut everything and everyone out of her life just because she was blind. Shinichi would have to understand that she needed more than the life she had grown into. She wanted more than the life that she had grown into. She just hoped that she knew what she was doing and that he wasn't right. That things would turn out the way she wanted them, not the way that he expected them.

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**A/N:** I want to thank you all for the reviews. I try to reply to all of you but a lot of you are guests or don't allow messaging, but thank you so much for reading and your input! I'm glad you guys are enjoying it and sticking with me! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and hopefully I can get another one out for you soon again. :] Read and review and I'll do my best to get another update ASAP. Please and thank you!


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